Prince Charming

Before I begin discussing my Theory of Prince Charming, hereafter referred to as ToP (an abbreviation that must exclude the 'C' from Charming to remain catchy), I will explain what a Eucatastrophe is. It is a term (possibly made-up by one of my professors) that describes a type of story that can only be identified after the ending has taken place - from certain doom and catastrophe, an unexpected event occurs and all ends well. Emphasis is placed on the unexpected nature of the event. The most prominant eucatastrophe is of course, Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

The Theory of Prince Charming: A warning to those who wait.

We shall begin with the everywoman ideal of a man. Tall, athletic, broad shouldered man with a deep voice and pleasant facial features. Dresses well, nice hair, stylish, hygienic, smells good. Big hands (just for Wendy), cute ass (for Vanessa), and isn't wussier than Cammie. Walks naturally, confidant, but not arrogant. Reasonably chivalrous (opens doors, takes jackets, pulls out chairs), polite, good with pets, good with kids, charming (says your mother), worthy (says your father), and has money (not a lot, but enough to always pick up the cheque). Makes you feel special, safe, warm, and loved. Honest, but will lie to make you feel good about yourself (or your fat ass) and thoughtful. Listens. Trustworthy.

Does he exist? I'm afraid so... I know him - I know them. In fact, most of the above characteristics apply to a great number of men, but they all lack one characteristic. Though he is trustworthy, he is not loyal; after all, why should he be? A vast number of women seek him, and he need only pick - but why pick one? What harm is there in having two? Or even three? Whatever made you think that Prince Charming is a good guy? It almost seems as if desirable people have huge egos that have eroded their sense of morality and conscience. Apart from being athletic, he only pretends to be chivalrous, charming and polite. He barely tolerates pets and kids, and makes you feel special, safe, warm and loved for one purpose and one purpose only. Sex. Of course once he's done with you, he need not perpetuate the charade, and you'll see him for the asshole he really is. The strange thing is that he has a wife too... But not to worry. He'll lie to her and lie to you to make you both feel better about yourself.

Don't believe me do you? Waiting for your Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet, and treat you to a romantic dinner, maybe a shopping spree? Maybe you'd like to meet some of my friends and acquaintances. I'm sure you'll find them attractive...

Brian the brain.

Brian figured it out first. Find this blog via Irene's comments. Far simpler than trying to search for what I might or might not call my blog. Whether or not Brian was the first visitor is unknown. So, for those who know Irene, and found this on their own, I welcome you to my personal little space on the web. For those who were referred here, I welcome you anyway, but not as warmly as the others.

I just recently finished reading...

To be continued... Felix is picking me up for some bbt. Going to edit his essay while I'm at it.

... Douglas Adams' the Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In my opinion, the most memorable part of the novel,

Ah. . . ! What's happening? it thought.
Er, excuse me, who am I?
Hello?
Why am I here? What's my purpose in life?
What do I mean by who am I?
Calm down, get a grip now . . . Oh! This is an interesting sensation, what is it? It's a sort of . . . yawning, tingling sensation in my . . . my . . . well I suppose I'd better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let's call it my stomach.
Good. Ooooh, it's getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling roaring sound going past what I'm suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that . . . wind! Is that a good name? It'll do . . . perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I've find out what it's for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What's this thing? This . . . let's call it a tail - yeah, tail. Hey! I can really thrash it about pretty good, can't I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn't seem to achieve very much, but I'll probably find out what it's for later on. Now - have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?
No.
Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I'm quite dizzy with anticipation . . .
Or is it the wind?
There really is a lot of that now, isn't there?
And wow! Hey! What's this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like . . . ow . . . ound . . . round . . . ground! That's it! Thats a good name - ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?

Definitely a very funny book - strongly advise you read it. Then you'll know what I'm going on about.

Next time on Eucatastrophe: My Prince Charming theory.

Beginning of the end.

Ah yes, I have succumbed. It is certain that this new chapter in my life will be over before it even begins, but for now, I will humour the exhibitionist in me, and blog about my personal life.