Lorelei vs Rory

Up front, I've never watched an epsiode of Gilmore Girls.
If you are a woman, who is easily offended, and isn't on good terms with your mom, I suggest you turn away now. Now that I've said it, you're not allowed to be offended. If you're a guy and offended, you need to grow some hair down there and pop momma's teat outta your mouth. Good. Let the vitriol flow forth from the darkness.

Why is it that so many young women/teenage girls hate their mothers (anecdotal)? It first seemed to me an uncanny coincidence. Two girls I became close with both despised their mothers. In fact they so loathed the presence of the older woman, that they moved out, or seriously contemplated moving out. Another girl I am acquainted with engages in terrifying one-sided yelling matches (her doing the yelling) in public, cursing at her mother with phrases that not even I would repeat to mine. And now, within the last month, three more of my female friends have expressed to me ill will directed at their mothers - but why? The answer was always the same. "She's annoying (4/6)." "She nags all the time (5/6)." "We argue a lot (2/6)." "She guilt trips me to get her way(2/6)." What is it about nagging mothers that gets their daughters so riled up and ready to abandon the comforts of home? To me (and my chauvanist tendancies), the answer seem simple enough. Women are 1) irrational, or maybe 2) self centered, or perhaps 3) living proof of Freud's Elektra Complex.

1) Women are irrational.
Yes, leave home. Did you think about how you were going to pay for all the things you take for granted?
Oops, I can't stay at my friends' house forever... guess I'll have to find a job and rent. Nevermind that I'll get stuck in the Rent Trap, and when I'm a little older, I'll realize that had I stayed home and saved my rent money and invested it properly, I could afford a downpayment on my own condo by now.
I want that new jacket that I KNOW will look good on me. Oops, gotta pay the rent, maybe I can afford it next season, when it's out of style - or MAYBE mom will buy it for my birthday present.
What courses am I going to take next year? Oops, I have no tuition money... OSAP! Debt! Yay! Oops, OSAP doesn't pay 100%, I guess I need a second part time job.
Oh! I'm hungry! ... uh hi, mom... its me... listen... do you think I could eat dinner with the family tonight?
Seriously now, living with annoying mom in middle class comfort... or living in poverty. Hmmm... Living with annoying mom in middle class comfort, vs. living in poverty. I'm not sure about this one... maybe I should think longer in my characteristically indecisive way. Hmmm...

2) Women are self-centered. A nice way of saying women are selfish.
(You) Wah wah wah. Mommy is annoying because she nags. She nags because she wants to annoy me. I hate her.
(Mommy) I am very concerned about the welfare of my child. I would like her to avoid the mistakes that I made. I would like to help her because I love her.
(You) Wah wah wah. I'm all growed up now, I don't need your help. You're annoying. I can do things myself. I need my space.
(Mommy) Those things she says hurt. But I'm trying my best to help her - be nice to her. I want to give her everything. I don't want her to be hurt. I don't want her to learn the hard way.
(Me) Ungreatful child.
Of course, this is a gross exaggeration of what goes largely unspoken. It seems to me that these girls - for they only woman in body - fail to see things from the mothers' perspective. They can not understand the mothers' motivations, nor do they appear to have an inkling of empathy for the hurt that they may cause. The only kind of people known to act this way are young children. Hence the tone of my girl character in dialogue.

3) Freud's Elektra Complex. If you know what it is, good. If you do not, then look it up. Freud's theory probably has little merit - already his Oedipus Complex has been shot down by today's experts. It would be safe to assume that the Elektra Complex also suffers from the same credibility problems. I know little else of Freud - I was never a great student of Psychology. But, I thought that would be glaringly obvious by now.

N.B. No, I am not a misogynist; yes, I do know what the word means; no, this does not apply to all women and all daughters; and no, this is not directed at you - what made you think so, you egocentric child?

So, why do YOU hate your mother? She's done nothing but love and comfort you in the best way that she knows how. If she died tomorrow, I'm certain you would be sorry about how you treated her, or mistreated her.

The Happy Place

An exercise in stress management.

Think of a place where you would much rather be right now. Any place/time that first enters your mind.
Where are you?
Are you alone - who's with you?
What's up?

Let me kickstart this, and please... don't let me be the only respondant to my questions. You may comment anonymously if you so desire.

Where am I? Tropical beach. Lagoon. Palm trees... need shade, because the sand burns my Toronto-adapted feet. Resort? no. Crude cabin/hut deal. Island... maybe not.
Who's with me? You are, of course.
What's up? Nice place to be and all, but my city-dwelling ass is getting bored because after a little swimming and exploring, we're running out of things to do. Getting frustrated because we can't open the coconuts.

No good, I'll have to try again later.

Get Played and Win!

How do you know when you're being played? Most of us who do get played probably don't realize it for several reasons. I would speculate that most people would deny, even to themselves, the subtle truth of the matter. I would even go as far as to suggest that a good proportion of people out there would refuse to admit being played despite the obvious clues. Simon is right - battered women cling to their abusive men. Neglected wives cling to their cheating husbands. This is not to say that only women get played... men get played too. I'm no woman, so I wouldn't know the details of that side of things.

On another note... congrats Jeff, on winning.