Before I begin discussing my Theory of Prince Charming, hereafter referred to as ToP (an abbreviation that must exclude the 'C' from Charming to remain catchy), I will explain what a Eucatastrophe is. It is a term (possibly made-up by one of my professors) that describes a type of story that can only be identified after the ending has taken place - from certain doom and catastrophe, an unexpected event occurs and all ends well. Emphasis is placed on the unexpected nature of the event. The most prominant eucatastrophe is of course, Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.
The Theory of Prince Charming: A warning to those who wait.
We shall begin with the everywoman ideal of a man. Tall, athletic, broad shouldered man with a deep voice and pleasant facial features. Dresses well, nice hair, stylish, hygienic, smells good. Big hands (just for Wendy), cute ass (for Vanessa), and isn't wussier than Cammie. Walks naturally, confidant, but not arrogant. Reasonably chivalrous (opens doors, takes jackets, pulls out chairs), polite, good with pets, good with kids, charming (says your mother), worthy (says your father), and has money (not a lot, but enough to always pick up the cheque). Makes you feel special, safe, warm, and loved. Honest, but will lie to make you feel good about yourself (or your fat ass) and thoughtful. Listens. Trustworthy.
Does he exist? I'm afraid so... I know him - I know them. In fact, most of the above characteristics apply to a great number of men, but they all lack one characteristic. Though he is trustworthy, he is not loyal; after all, why should he be? A vast number of women seek him, and he need only pick - but why pick one? What harm is there in having two? Or even three? Whatever made you think that Prince Charming is a good guy? It almost seems as if desirable people have huge egos that have eroded their sense of morality and conscience. Apart from being athletic, he only pretends to be chivalrous, charming and polite. He barely tolerates pets and kids, and makes you feel special, safe, warm and loved for one purpose and one purpose only. Sex. Of course once he's done with you, he need not perpetuate the charade, and you'll see him for the asshole he really is. The strange thing is that he has a wife too... But not to worry. He'll lie to her and lie to you to make you both feel better about yourself.
Don't believe me do you? Waiting for your Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet, and treat you to a romantic dinner, maybe a shopping spree? Maybe you'd like to meet some of my friends and acquaintances. I'm sure you'll find them attractive...
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14 comments:
Sleeping Beauties? Yeah, but its like drawing straws - its hard to see what they look like when their religion demands that they be covered from head to toe in a black bedsheet.
ahh...so bitter. haha
wend
i'm sorry.....I'VE never met anyone who's met all those qualities, regardless of whether or not he's really a loser....
Dustin......you sound like a monologue from Sex and the City......middle-aged single woman losing hope in men....what's going on there?
Maybe I should talk about professional women. Professional women typically want a man who is, at the very least, also a professional. The older a professional woman gets, the smaller the pool of available professional men.
I have seen your future, Cammie - it has LAVALIFE written on it.
I'm joking, of course. You're young and you're pretty and you work in a place full of other professionals.
oh where to begin.
dustin: i agreed with you from the start. i do believe that there are a great many guys who suit many of those qualities. there are lots of guys who have most of those qualities. obviously some more than others, but i'd say most guys are genuinely, good, nice, decent look people. however, once you started on the loyalty thing, i started to disagree. though it did make for a good laugh.
cammie: true you've never met a man with every single one of those qualities, but i think there are a lot of good guys out there, and dustin makes a good point, professional women look for professional men, and with such a smaller pool, it's hard to find someone with those exact qualities.
i think the whole idea of women whining at the fact that there are no men out there boils down to one thing: they're too picky. i'm of the opinion that there are lots of good guys out there, just ast here are lots of good girls.
cam, if you met a guy with all those qualities, you would be dating him if he wasn't already taken...but all talk about professional women is reminding of this episode where Cynthia Nixon's character Miranda is having trouble finding a date cause she's a successful lawyer and she has to lie and say she's a stewardess cause the guys are intimidated....guys, is there any truth to this?
Yes, doctor-to-be.
Intimidating to some, but not all. Dustin has always said that he would feel inferior if his wife made more money than he did, and that he would less of a man for it. Though I've heard people agree with him, I don't feel the same way. Money is not the driving force of my life, not the be all and end all of existence. Personally I feel that if Dustin met the right girl, it wouldn't really matter to him how much money she made. He would enjoy excellent company in the form it came in. Love, even lust, will go a long way in changing opinions, and boundaries.
The Chang is right, Prince Charming is a myth. Just like an unobtainable movie star, if society has portrayed upon you this unreal idealistic man who you're waiting to meet, chances are that he's only that way to get you into bed. He wont be loyal to you because he's already not loyal to himself. If you want to meet someone who is loyal, find someone not afraid of their own faults.
- Vano
haha! see? Dustin, you should really watch some Sex and the City...i seriously think you'd really enjoy it...its basically all about what you like talking about....really...i'll lend you my dvds...
hahaha...lavalife...sigh...guys, i'm not comPLAINing...i just meant that you made it sound like so many of these seemlingly perfect guys are all over the place, when really, i don't think its that common...
besides...everyone has their different version of their prince charming...who's to say that what i want is the things you listed? i think everyone has different priorities....some may just be harder to find than others
this is clearly true -- why else would women love men who beat them? because they think they'll never do any better.
but anyways, i have to be totally up front:
i do NOT think there is a plethora of great guys lying around everywhere.
girls think the ideal women is a kickass tomboy-dropdead beauty-headstrong professional-do it all mother, allllll rolled into one. this is all well and good....however...
women want to respect guys. guys have gradually stopped earning women's respect due to subtle changing gender roles. women do not respect guys.
there. i said it.
girls -- ask yourself this: how many guys would you willingly follow into danger with full confidence?
50 years ago, a girl would have said lots. guys took care of girls, thats the way things were.
nowadays, a girl would be more likely to be looking out for herself first than to think that the guy knows what the hell he's doing. and conversely, the guy would be too worried about the girl doubting him to be confident in himself (as a general example).
there you have it. where have all the good men gone?
castrated at birth. oh so sad.
that's very true.....there are very very few guys i would following into danger......i don't think any at all i would follow unquestioningly.......neither would i for women either...but i don't really know of any guy who would take charge at a situation like that and be confident enough in his decisions not to ask for my opinion either. PLUS, how many guys nowadays would sacrifice their lives to save a girl? HUH?
c'mon, where's the valour? i think this generation needs more redford movies...haha
Conclusion:
i think i could say i would unquestioningly follow a guy into danger, if i knew he was a guy who would unquestioningly risk his life to save me.
Okay, so maybe there aren't a great plethora of them, but I do know a good number of Prince Charmings, and they're mostly all no-good. Some (two that I can think of) settled down when their fun produced a family, though it is unknown how long they'll be able to commit for. Some others continued philandering despite getting married and having children.
The Prince Charmings that I wrote about are as close to the 'real men' you speak of as possible. The strange thing is that you COULD trust them to risk their lives to save you, but you could NOT trust them to stay away from your girlfriend(s) and wife.
Cam, More Redford movies? When does he ever end up with the girl? The Way we were? Out of Africa? The only movie I can think of that he made a commitment in was Up Close and Personal, and he DIED in that movie.
i think there are plenty of guys who'd take charge in that situation.
my point is that you would doubt every single one of them because society has taught you to do so.
most point isn't only that guys are going down the wrong path, but that women put them there and then complain about it. you'll notice that this catch22 of cause-effect and responsiblity reeks of typical female irrational behaviour, and thus blame.
"go ahead and watch tv."
"ok"
"why are you watching tv?!"
"you told me to"
"thats not what i MEANT"
"what th...?"
"i hate you, don't talk to me!"
"ok, sorry...."
"why aren't you consoling me!"
"you told me not t..."
"that's not what i MEAAAAANT"
and so on, and so forth.
/end point.
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