The Gift Registry

On the first day of christmas...

1 Camera bag
1 Tripod
2 $10 Gift cards for The Source
2 Pairs Underwear from the GAP
1 Box Godiva Chocolatier Platinum Collection
3 $50 bills
1 Pair Cufflinks form Holt Renfrew
1 Cigar cutter
4 Ferrero Rocher chocolates
2 Batches of Cookies
1 Bottle of Bailey's
1 Gambling game set
1 Clinique shaving cream
1 Clinique M protect SPF 21

Most unexpected gift: Clinique for men products.

Most difficult to acquire gift: Godiva Platinum Collection

Gift that will be least used: Cufflinks

Gift that will be most used: Underwear

Les Miserables

Saw the new Toronto production on Saturday night. All in all, it was really good, but I'm not sure if I'm saying that out of nostalgia. A few good points and a few bad points. Lets start with the bad.

The 'extras' the ensemble weren't so great. They're not important, i know, but a few of them had enunciation problems - the lyrics weren't clear at some points. It takes away from the a dense production like Les Mis when some of the words get garbled. It's like every word in that musical has something to contribute, so losing a few here or there can cost the whole production when the audience gets confused or intimidated.

Fontine sounded like she belonged on a canadian idol stage more than she did on Les Mis. Crazy vibrato... in a musical? No, it just doesn't fit. Fontine is supposed to be a simple country girl forced into unfortunate circumstances. She is not fancy nor is she flamboyant, and that's exactly what crazy vibrato conveys.

Young Cosette was not innocent enough. Basically, this Cosette sounded like a child who'd been taking singing lessons. She had some flare and style, and very clear enunciation. The character is supposed to sound like a small child. Ever hear a kindergartener sing? They sound like they're constantly out of breath, and they slur words a little, and thats exactly how Cosette should sound - innocent, and untrained.

Gavroche, on the other hand, is a street urchin. Very learned, confidant (up until his demise). This Gavroche didn't sound that confident at first, but once he got into his groove, he was alright. First impressions are everything in setting up that character though.

Adult Cosette and Marius were average. Nothing outstanding. Then again, everybody likes those characters least anyhow.

Jean Valjean was good. He had that solid rightous voice, and unlike the old production of Les Mis, you could immediately recognize it whenever he sang a part. In the old production, there were a few members of the ensemble with rich singing voices, and it made all the men seem rightous... even the criminals in the chain gang. In this production, there's only one truly rightous guy, and thats Jean Valjean, the way it should be.

Javert was excellent. I would say he was the highlight of this production. He had a sharp, fast and clear way of singing which set the tone for his character. Everything about his voice was so uptight and regimented... it was great. Like Valjean, you could recognize him every time he sang, but not so much because of his voice as much because of that quick cadence he sang in. Everything about him said that he was coming and shit was hitting the fan.

Anyway, more bad things than good, but this musical is built on Valjean and Javert. Valjean was very good, and has to be very good, so he just met expectations. Javert was stupendous and he basically picked up the slack of the other faltering players. Averaged it out, so to say. Asides from the show itself, the Canon theater was pretty extravagant. High domed ceilings and lighting made the place look really grand. I was in good company. She dressed up, but probably just for the show, not for me. Golden/glossy beige/brown blouse (silk i think), black blazer, black pants. Nicely fitted... the heels finished the outfit, filled out the curves. I was suit-ably impressed... i mean by the show of course.

Why do you instigate conflict?

"You need to get laid."
"I think you do it cuz you take pleasure in getting a rise out of people. You also know you are good at debating, and you are looking for a match, but mostly i think you like seeing how people break down under the small pressure you put on them and seeing if they can handle it . . . its a psychological game."
"And you need to get laid."
- Mike

"I think it's your cry for help, love, and attention that you didn't get as a child, which is manifested now. Honestly, I think you do it for stimulation, just to see how others respond. Y'know how little kids prod at frogs just to see them jump? you probably never grew out of that phase. So, in a way, it's a sign of immaturity and having not grown out of your life stage. I think it's a power thing too."
- Jane

"I dunno. Maybe because you're naturally more agressive and seek to find out people's opinions by challenging them. Instead of asking a question, you'll try to insult what you think their beliefs are in order to draw out a more emotional/accurate response."
- Evan

Those were some of the more thoughtful responses I got. Anyway, those responses are pretty much on the dot I guess.

OkCupid!

The Mixed Messenger

Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDm)

Just...take...the...fucking...flower...darling. The Mixed Messenger apologizes again.

You're looking for love, but you'll always maintain your independence. You're prepared for a real commitment, but it's also likely that you're ambitious, which creates a certain romantic tension and ambivalence within you. So although you can be very affectionate to someone, you are also capable of pulling some dubious shit.
In a relationship, you're usually the emotional leader. With your friends, you're a little bit more part of the pack. You're well-liked but you're not the uninhibited type, so the spotlight's often on someone else. In both social and romantic situations, however, you almost always get what you want. Influencing people is something you do very well.

Your exact opposite: The Playboy - Random Gentle Sex Master

ALWAYS AVOID: The Playstation, The Peach

CONSIDER: The Priss

The HTML was messing up my blog. Text it is.

The 32-Type Dating Test

Bikes, booze, and babes.

Well, thats the end of that idea... with most of my weekends gone to work, I'll have little time for cycling. Maybe in two weeks (first week of November), I'll go out for a light spin, enjoy the fall colours and then pack her up until spring. What the hell am I talking about... I've got all these free daytime hours to go cycling. But then again, who wants to go cycling alone?

For the last couple of months, I've been drinking pretty regularly. I have at least two drinks every three days, mostly beer with friends and coworkers, but sometimes scotch at home (alone), and margaritas on tuesdays at moxie's. Alcoholism? I'll be the first to deny it.

I think I need a girlfriend.

Accessorize!

I've always had urges to accessorize my bicycle.

Back in the high school days, biking home with Dan, I was all about buying neat stuff from canadian tire - a bell, bullhorns, a mudflap, bike rack, water bottle holder, u-lock, and some other stuff I can't remember. I was limited by cashflow though, so most of my accessories either didn't match, or were of poor worksmanship and quality.

Now that I do have some spending power, I've got that urge to accessorize my new bike, but stronger. This time, it's all brand name stuff. Nothing too flashy, I wouldn't want any of it stolen, but still nice. I've just bought a new helmet and brakelight, and I bought a new lock and water bottle holder when I bought my bike last month.

I think I want to buy a LED headlight next, along with a second, matching bottle holder (my bike has space for two), and a front saddlebag. I figure, with my sense of direction, I really should be cycling around with a map in front of me, hence the saddlebag. I can also put my lunch in there, or whatever something else I need to take with me (compass, settlers of catan). The second bottle holder will just look nice. I've never had to drink two bottles of water on a cycling trip. I probably only need about a litre every 40km, double that if I go hard. As for the LED headlight, I already have the LED brakelight, so I might as well be safe for those night trips. For next year, I'll look into buying spare inner-tubes in case I get a flat, a portable pump, and a roadside repair kit.

Too Soon? Too soon.

Why can't [censored] touch his feet? Because you can't bend over in a casket.

What's the [censored]'s favorite broadway musical? Stomp.

What was the last thing that went through [censored]'s mind? [censored]'s boot.

What was the prosecutor's newest charge against [censored], [censored], and [censored]? Home invasion.

What's the mandatory retirement age for a [censored]? 59.
How long does retirement last? 4 hours.

Why doens't [censored] have to worry about cold weather this winter? Because [censored] is warm all year round.
Why does [censored] still have to worry in [censored]? Because when [censored], [censored], and [censored] get there, they'll [censored] him again.

What was [censored]'s favorite food? Who cares, he's already [censored].

The fact is, if they were three off-duty McDonald's employees, nobody would give a shit.

Settling for Cuba

So Cam want's a rating for the Cuba trip.

1. Saving $500 per person for an upgrade to a five star resort. 1 pt/$ saved. +500
2. Diarrhea. At least four times a day for two days. -8
3. Positive stuff.
4. Negative stuff.
Net score: overwhelmingly positive. Losers who wanted to go to med school instead of cuba missed out fer shur.

Anyway, Settlers of Catan is really fun. Its like I learn something new about the game everytime I play... And i've only played 4 games. We should play. How's friday sound? Or maybe Saturday or Sunday night?

-d

Vive le poutine et viande fumee!

1. Rushing from work to get downtown to meet the team. -1
2. Driving 6hrs to Montreal... +1
3. ... in my own car. +1
4. No need for left or right turn signals after crossing the border. +1
5. Parking far away from hostel. -1
6. Montreal style smoked meat at Chez Swartz's. +1
7. Waking up at 5am for an 8am first race. -1
8. Getting stuck with slow/heavy boats(1). -1
9. Getting fucked over by race officials who recorded incorrect results. -1
10. Interacting with black version of Rain Man at race HQ when filing complaint. -1
11. Interacting with incompetent staff at race HQ, requiring the team to ask the same question three times and failing to recieve an answer three times. -1
12. Realizing that the guy in charge of transporting official race results from the race tower to the printer at race HQ is using his position to print t-shirt sale posters for his girl instead of doing his job. -1
13. Finding out that life jackets are optional in this festival. +1
14. Kicking some ass on the second race and seeding into the Premiere Division. +1
15. "Go on Lane 4. Come on. Cheer for Lane 4. Claps for everyone. Come on. Allons-y. Gah-yau. Cheers for everyone."(2) -1
16. Hooking up. +1
17. "Take autoroute Bonaventure... TRUST ME!" and ending up on the wrong highway going away from montreal on a long ass bridge across the St. Lawrence to the south shore.(4) -1
18. Pissing off Andrea with my lack of signalling and running of lights. +1
19. Having expensive steak dinner with wine. +1
20. Walking back to the hostel faster than the cabs can drive. +1
21. Boozing at night. +1
22. Boozing all night until 3:30am. +1
23. Breaking up. -1
24. Waking up at 5:30am for a 9am first race of the day. -1
25. 2:14.21 - our time for the first race of the day, qualifying us for the Premiere C Division. +1
26. 2:14.20 - the time for the next fastest boat of that particular race. -1
27. Being faster than the Komodo Dragons. +1
28. The Mofo's figure out the heavier boat problem and protest. +1
29. Their heat gets to re-race. -1
30. Waiting hours for incompetent staff to post one set of race results. -1
31. Dropping down to Premiere D Division. -1
32. Tripping on yellow caution tape.(3) -1
33. Coming in fourth place in Premiere D Division, making us the 22nd best team in the festival. +1
34. No hardware. -1
35. Sex wax for $3. +1
36. Preboozing before hitting the clubs. +1
37. Club Super Sexe. +1
38. Clubbing with friends. +1
39. Dancing with someone, for a change. +1
40. Last call at 3am instead of 2am here in Toronto. +1
41. Only 5 hours sleep before driving home, 7 hours total throughout weekend. -1
42. Sharing a room with Andrea, who hates me so much. +1
43. $42 Parking ticket for parking past 9:30am. -1
44. St. Hubert for lunch. +1
45. Driving 6 hours to Toronto. -1
46. Regrettable Events. -1
47. Going from buzzed/drunk to sober in 1 minute. -1
48. Situation so FUBAR'ed that I couldn't enjoy the rest of the night. -1
49. So emotionally disturbed that I couldn't even bring myself to booze anymore. -1
50. Watching one of the funnest, tightest teams I've ever known fall apart in one night. -1

Net Score: -2

(1) = There were two different sets of dragonboats - a heavy set and a light set. Obviously this will result in a systematic error during time trials, where every other heat will recieve slower times, affecting the division placement. Why the fuck would you use two different sets of boats?
(2) = This was what the announcer said in a very emotionless monotonous voice in a heavy chinese accent during races to try and motivate the crowd and the racers.
(3) = Wires providing power to the sound systems on the stage were covered by black wood to reduce risk of tripping. Some people stubbed some toes and complained. Loose yellow 'Caution' tape was strung along the ground on top of the black wood, creating an even more serious tripping hazard.
(4) = The last time I trust Mike's directional advice in Montreal after clearly reading the sign that says 'Montreal - Centre-ville/Downtown,' and not taking that onramp like I'd originally intended.

I think I may have been better off if I had stayed at home this weekend. There was so much aggravation from the festival and the shit that went on this weekend that I want a refund on my stat holiday. First off, the festival was run like a made-in-china car. The race HQ staff completely switched off their brains and turned a good festival into a Mickey Mouse affair that could possibly have been worse then TIDBRF @ Centre Island. The Olympic Basin has what's needed to record results for olympic events, yet for some reason, the staff couldn't put the right numbers on a piece of paper and tack it on a board.

They were trying to use a wireless network to transfer the race results from the race tower to the laptop at race HQ, which uses the wireless network to print the race results. Apart from the obvious redundancy in that system, the organizers were having problems with the wireless network. It seems like the tower couldn't communicate with the laptop. The organizers speculated that it was the incredibly thick mass of people between the race HQ and the tower. Apart from being a moron, the organizer was too fucking stupid to think about the fact that the tower is about 30 feet above the ground, where the laptop is. That little fact aside, the tower is made from solid concrete and steel. Good luck beaming fuck all through that. I am convinced that it would have been faster to get someone with neat printing to handwrite the race results at the tower and deliver them to the race HQ. Instead, they decide to send a staff member back and forth from the race tower to the HQ with the laptop, manually copying the data. Of course, he doesn't do his job, and instead uses the laptop to create and print price lists for his friend's t-shirt stand.

And then there was Rain Man. Affirmative action in every sense of the expression. His mouth was agape constantly, as if he couldn't physically close it. The shit that came out of his stupid fucking head was beyond incompetent. When I went to race HQ to inquire about why race 7 and 8 had identical results for different team names, I couldn't seem to effectively communicate which race number our team was in. I told them that there was an issue with races 7 and 8, our team having raced in 8. They heard 6 and 7, and I was told that the issue with 6 and 7 had been rectified. I corrected them - race 8, 7 and 8! They wanted to hear 7, so that's what they heard. They called another organizer higher up and she gave me the situation on the correction for race 6 and 7. I explained my situation again from square 1. Rain man, who was there the whole time, then tells me that the results for race 7 and 8 had been posted half an hour ago, and that I should go check there. No fucking shit, you dickhead. How else would I have a problem with the race results if you didn't post them on the board? I just wanted to grab him and shake him until he went unconscious. Come back in 20 minutes. Fucking idiots. Later in the afternoon, after the Mofo's re-raced, the head organizer guy was trying to get the results printed. Rain man proceeds to start printing the entire day's results starting from the first race at 7am. This was after the staff already fucked up the same set of race results a bunch of times. Needless to say, the organizer blew about a dozen fuses and lost 3 years off the end of his life. I can totally understand. Surrounded by so much incompetence, there is no salvation but perhaps suicide.

I think i've acually lost from going on this weekend.

Plan B is exactly that, and not a plan A.

No medal... oh well. Summer Dragons was ranked the 6th best team in the community division, or the 10th best including the university teams. Waterloo was such a mickey mouse festival... one of the lanes consistently underperformed in just about every single heat, and was at a significant time disadvantage. Luckily, we had the deep outside lane in our time trials, and again in the semifinals, which were eventually cancelled due to thunderstorm. I hear it's how the engineers beat UC.

Anyway, there is love in SDEH... it's there, hidden amongst the old summer dragon stalwarts - kay, becca, Nelson; and some of the more recent ones - Mike, Hilary, Jeff. Wendy doesn't love... she didn't come to the potluck dinner. You missed a good one wendy. I might be coaching next year with Becca again, and I asked Cam and Steph and Simon to join, and every one of you out there reading this post can consider it an invitation too.

Re: last post. Only you might know who you are, but with that spotty memory of yours, you probably wouldn't remember anyway. Now deliver my book, dammit.

Only you.

Yes. Only you could notice it, and only you would ask if I wanted to go out and celebrate.

In other news, white water rafting was a hoot. I don't think I've had that much fun on water since inner tubing at the Little cottage. Admittedly, inner-tubing was more exciting because of the speed, but rafting was exciting in a different way. It was more the power-of-nature-to-smash-you-on-a-rock kind of exciting. Trail riding was power-of-nature-to-smash-your-balls exciting. Cam says galloping is easier, but I figure I need to clock some more time on a saddle before trying a gallop.

There's so much love on SDEH (/Sarcasm). I think people are just too busy living their lives to put much time into community dragonboat. At this point, being out of school and all, I feel it's better to form a team of close local friends to train for a season... but where am I going to find 25 local friends who hang out together all the time? This first half-year has been full of dissapointment in every area of my life. Maybe if I get a medal tomorrow, I'll feel better.

The alien-ness of chinese culture.

My parents are back from their trip in Asia, predominantly through China and Hong Kong. I asked them to bring me back a chinese Maxim, and they did.

Now, for those who are unfamiliar with Maxim magazines, theres a line of text that runs across the top of the front cover of the magazine, above the word 'Maxim.' Here in North America, the bar usually reads "Sex · Sports · Beer · Gadgets · (insert something here)." Sometimes its slightly different, but generally speaking, most of the magazines begin with Sex, Sports, Beer and Gadgets. The idea here is that the magazine focuses on those topics. If you pick up a Maxim, you should expect to read about Sex, Sports, Beer and Gadgets, in that order of importance.

Okay, so back on the topic at hand, I got my chinese Maxim, and I noticed the bar that runs across the top reads "Fashion · Tiger · Gadgets · Train · Girls · Grooming." What the fuck is that? We know the target demographic is teenaged - 25 yr old males, so what does this say about the priorities of young chinese men? Fashion, not Sex; Tiger, whatever the hell that means, not Sports; Gadgets - okay; Train? What the hell? Girls - is this another way of saying Sex? Grooming - hand in hand with fashion, I suppose. Can chinese guys aged 18-25 be any more effeminate? That list of priorities reads like something out of a womens' magazine.

For fuck's sake...

Cam's Xanga Reposted

How could you not know how to copy and paste???

haaa.......I just walked over to the recycling bin to empty my three hole punch......half of the confetti ended up on me and the floor. there was only one witness, and she saw me standing there, slowly picking off the confetti from my shirt so as not to make more fall onto the floor. then i looked around....looked at the floor....and hesitantly walked away. she had the decency not to laugh at me. ....if i saw me in that situatioon i would've cracked up.

There. Just highlight text, copy, go make a post in blogger, change the date and time, and paste into the box...

You want at least four inches. Anything less, and you won't penetrate far enough.

"The objective is not to maim or incapacitate, it is to kill. There are two ways we can achieve this - two methods that we can use. Name one."
"Blood-letting"
"Yes, blood-loss is one. Vital organs is the other."

. . .

"From the front, we have access to most of the vital organs and vessels. In the neck, we can attack the carotid arteries, in the legs the femoral arteries. From the shoulder we can target the subclavian artery. For vital organs, there are the obvious - heart and lungs, and brain too, through the eyes. From the rear, we have the kidneys, and above that, the liver."

. . .

"The upper back of the human body is well protected. The traps and the shoulder blades act like a natural armour, to protect the vital organs and blood vessels. Luckily, from behind, we can normally move straight to a kill-move."

. . .

"Don't look at the back of his head, look off. See him in your peripheral vision. Stay low. Walk quietly. Don't cross your legs. Get close, but not so close that he can see you in his peripheral vision. When you're ready, switch the grip and move in."

. . .

"Maintain control of your target at all times. Grab his forehead or helmet, or you can cover his mouth to muffle any screams. You may want to disrupt his balance, like this. You see?"

. . .

"Aim for the hollow just behind the clavicle. And don't just stop after the first one. Keep on going until he stops struggling. Ventilate him."

. . .

"Reach over or under his arm and grab him by the throat. Pull him back to provide a counter-force while you stab at an upwards angle. Aim for the kidney and liver. Nothing fancy. You don't have to stab and twist like in the movies. To him, it'll feel like a hard punch to the kidney, and the shock and pain will prevent him from screaming. Again, control the body, and don't stop until he's dead."

I hope you don't get into Med School, you prick.

The title says it all. I have a certain acquaintance, with whom I share my Embryology class, who is currently going through medical school interviews. In his inexhaustible and thorough rehersals of model answers to commonly, and uncommonly asked interview questions, he has managed to alienate himself from his friends. Truthfully, I don't think any one of us who know him in that class want him to make it.

A few weeks ago, while he was prattling on about yet another possible question and perfect answer, I offered to critique his responses. I suggested that though the content of his answer was correct, his method of delivery was discontinuous and lacked confidence. I alleged that his technique of memorizing lists of key points to recite led to discontinuity in his statements. His mind, seeking to spit out as much information as possible, performs far faster than he is able to communicate his thoughts. The result is a conglomerate of half-finished ideas and phrases. On top of that, he has a habit of saying "you know?" and tends to turn every statement into a question with that rising inflection in his voice. So, it seemed like he was asking a series of questions rather than making a series of statements, possibly to elicit confirmatory replies or acknowledgement or appraising nods from the interviewer.

What was his response to me? He became hostile and defensive (as if he could do no wrong), and questioned my credibility and knowledge of what a good answer entailed, "What the hell do YOU know? The people who I did mock interviews with said I was fine." So sorry, but if you're looking for a yes-man, you won't find one in me. I resisted the urge to become hostile and defensive myself, and explained that I focused specifically on his methods of communication rather than the content he was communicated. He maintained that I was definitely not the authority on the matter, even when one of our other friends in the class chimed in, supporting my evaluation of his 'perfect' response.

Needless to say, where once I was one of the few who could tolerate his presence, he has managed to do the difficult and make an enemy of me. Even today, before our Embryo midterm, while the group of us were running through the practice exams, some of the other guys' were ignoring his constant scheming for more clever answers and strategies for the interview.

I hope he doesn't get what he wants in life, and for me to wish that upon someone probably takes quite an effort on their part to antagonize me.

Sid Smith Bazaar

I'm posting for the sake of posting now. My topic that I alluded to before isn't ready to be posted.

In the recent months, the Sidney Smith building at the heart of Arts and Science has turned into something akin to a slummy bazaar in the outskirts of Istanbul. Please allow me to outline the similarities. 1) Gathering of poor people. 2) As soon as someone steps through the door, they are hounded by clusters of people trying to sell (not in the traditional sense of the word) something. 3) Stands/booths set up on the periphery of the lobby. 4) Undesireables (smokers) hanging out in front of the doors, intimidating passer-bys. 5) Cheap meat in numerous portable stands outside (street meat, food trucks).

Its to the point that I don't want to walk through SS, except that I have to, to get to class. Every time I walk in, I'm besiged by some activist or another... Vote Evolution! Israel is an apartheid state! Visit Portugal! Free the Falun Gong! Freeze Tuition Fees! Big party on Friday, ladies free before 11pm! Join the Communist Party of Canada (no joke)... And if I don't take one of their shitty little papers, they look at me with disdain, "Oh, look at that guy, he's one of the 70% of students who doesn't participate in university affairs." Oh, fuck off. Take your shitty election platform and shove it up your shitty ass.

To make matters worse, they've begun invading the classrooms too. Students will borrow time from profs at the beginning of class to speak about their issues. Activist wannabes will commandeer the overhead projector to display their ads before the prof arrives. I mean, yeah sure, its university, the left-wing capitol of the city, but is a little professionalism too much to ask? I feel like I'm in High School, and the SAC election is like the EHSS SAC election - just superficial bashing and catchy ads, and no real substance.

Ahh, whatever.

Thanks for reminding me.

Well, its that time of the year again! Valentine's Day! And this year, like every year before it, I'll be alone. Well... i lie. I'll be consoled by the gathering of other lonely people that takes place every February 14th, and we'll drink cool-aid while we wait for the space ship behind the comet to come pick us up.

Bad jokes aside, this mass marketing campaign for Valentines Day is really a problem for those who don't have a significant other. I wonder if the number of suicides in February is higher than any other months? Perhaps we've written those off as results of Seasonal Affect Disorder. I would allege (as my english professor would begin, that elitist avant garde punk with his stupid fucking twisting hand motions, turning some invisible dial or screwing some invisible thumb screw, promoting the principles of the debunked Freudian pseudoscience of dream interpretation and psychoanalysis) that the mass media attention given to market Valentines Day only serves to exacerbate the depression experienced by the silent majority of people who are unpaired. Every commercial, every advertisement serves as a barb to alienate those who are alone. No, of course being single isn't normal. Everyone's paired off. Everyone's on a team. Why aren't you? Is there something WRONG with you? Of course there is. Buy a box of chocolates. Buy a card. Buy some flowers. Oops, you don't have anyone to send them to. So sorry. Maybe you buy now and send next year?

On February 14th 2005, I will watch all twelve hours of the Lord of the Rings, Extended edition. Or maybe not... Arwen and Aragorn might serve to remind me what i'm missing.